The simple answer….. Everything. I started this blog on a journey to re-invent my life based on what makes me happy. After 13 years in Orlando, I just wasn’t laughing or smiling anymore. So I decided to move to Clearwater to be closer to the coast and be able to have a more outdoor lifestyle. Then later, ended up buying my first house in St. Petersburg. I was ACTUALLY HAPPY, But NOTHING could prepare me for my most recent addition. On December 29th, I gave birth to the most incredible baby boy and I am so blessed and honored to be his mother.
My entire life, I have dreamed about having a family of my own. Having a partner and a best friend that I could share everything with. We would have children and watch them grow, sharing in the sleepless nights and getting excited together over every little milestone they accomplish. Turns out, real life is a little different. Instead, for the past 5 months I have been living my greatest fear, being a single parent. For reasons I still don’t fully understand, my son’s father has chosen not to be a part of his life at this time. My brain is done trying to figure out why.
It’s been hard for me to wrap my head around this new reality. Sometimes I’m not sure what’s harder, is it the physical loss of someone or is it the loss of that future life together that you created in your head? Either way, today, I’m creating a new dream and it’s all based around this beautiful little boy. I saw a video of Will Smith the other day, where he said, “God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror. On the other side of your maximum fear, are all of the best things in life.” This couldn’t be more true. I can honestly say I have never been more happy in my entire life…….Annnnnnd tired.